My Bottomless Purse

I was putting my lunch, which was a thermos full of milk, an apple and a banana, in my purse.

Dave: I wish you bowled.
Me: Why?
Dave: So you could put your bowling ball in your purse.

Later, I had my iPod on shuffle, and it played Kanye West's Stronger and then, right after that, Daft Punk's Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger.

Me: FML, Dave. This is probably the coolest thing that happens to me today. Oh, shit. I forgot to put on deodorant, I think.
Dave: That's the worst!
Jen: I have a stick in my desk drawer, so I should be OK. It's just so awkward trying to put that on at my desk.
Dave: Put it in your purse and go to the bathroom the bathroom or something.
Jen: But there's no room in my purse!
Dave: There will be when you take that watermelon out!

The Real Reason

Me, complaining to Rolene about Dave: ...so he chose the last three movies and fell asleep during each one. It wasn't as if I had chosen the movies and he found them boring! I have actually downloaded two movies and he hasn't shown any interest in watching them.Well, maybe it's because they are both about Hitler...

Bluetooth

Dave and I were driving to work this morning when I noticed this in the driver's side window.

"Look Dave, Apple makes cars now."
"Buddy got that there in case you drives up alongside him and you wants to give him your number. Or marry him."

Ryan Snodden

So w're listening to Radio Noon at dinner (because of the time difference) and Ryan Snodden comes on to do the weather. He's mentioning minus 23 and minus 43 and blowing winds and it's just awful.

Jen: The temperatures there are the same as here, only negative.
Dave: Yeah, Ryan! Don't be so negative!

If Only

Dave and I are watching Breaking Bad and the wife goes on reverse lookup and finds out that this guy, Jesse Pinkman, had just called her husband, pretending to be from the phone company. She quickly finds his myshout page.

www.myshout.us/cpn_cook

She scrolls down and says "'MILF's.' The hell is a MILF?"

I notice the EDUCATION  section and say to Dave, "Hey, Michelle* went to school there!"

Dave turns to me and asks "MILF College?"






*name changed to protect Dave

With Or Without You (Two)

The day after we bought our tickets to go to Istanbul for the U2 360 tour, Dan decided that might be a time.

Dan: I would love to see U2 with you two!
Jen: Aw, Dan! We would love to see U2 with you, too!

Charlotte's Web of Deception

Last year the State of Qatar closed all the primary and secondary schools for one week for swine flu readiness. While our (post secondary) institution didn't close one Sunday we discovered superfluous hand sanitizers installed all over campus over the weekend.
This morning I decided to give my hands a quick "wash" after crawling under my desk.

Me: Hey! They didn't refill the hand sanitizers! So now that we're not all going to die of the swine flu they stopped caring?
Dan: It was all hogwash anyway.